My day last week with my new best friend was very powerful for me. I connected with many insights and an epiphany  … which I would like to share now – just in case there is something through my experience that resonates for you as well.

As I described in my previous post – “In my own skin”, I really connected with the trees. It was not only the bark….. but the trunks as well. There they were, in the forest…. hundreds of different species…. and within the same species – every one with different shapes, sizes and characteristics. What I felt when I saw these trees was their strength… their independence… their resilience.. and their freedom. They all stood alone – with freedom.

I saw shedding of old and felt this incredible strength from within their heartwood. Even those with scars and bleeding sap still had an element of strength and independence which truly moved me.

I saw giant strangler figs… wrapping themseves around another huge tree – inside, a large tree which was dying. The strangler fig was a parasite… strangling and needing something from it’s host… and ultimately killing it.

What I connected with whilst walking and sitting in the forest was that I must stand alone and that NO human being has the right to DEPEND / NEED and be a parasite on another human being. We must all stand alone. I connected with that I and we; must be autonomous to feel true freedom. … freedom for every person so that there are no chains of obligation or neediness held on to another person.

What I connected with was that NEEDING another human only strangles them.

I do not want to strangle another human being because I NEED something from them… their support…. their love… whatever.

I spent half my life not asking for help and being sooooo independent because I thought I was superwoman. I crashed. Then I learned to ask because I recognised that to ask gives another person an opportunity to share their gifts and Love…. but often it wasn’t forthcoming.. and I crashed. And now I have learned to ask if I need support – but if it is not forthcoming then so be it. I do not NEED or DEPEND on someone else to achieve my perceived needs or goals.

I have recognised now that it is important for me to accept that if I can’t do something by myself… well.. I can’t do something by myself. That’s it. Full stop. If someone comes to support and help… fabulous – because I feel that is what love can be about…but if they don’t come, I don’t NEED them for me to survive, be happy and feel fulfilled.

I must obtain everything I need from my roots and my leaves – from within….to breathe, nourish and sustain myself.

This doesn’t mean that I live my life in isolation.. quite to the contrary. It means to me that I can then love and be loved more fully – because there is no expectation of what I want from another person… and thinking that my needs are greater than someone else’s choices for their own lives.

I have recognised that freedom comes from not strangling another by needing something from them. Freedom comes from not imprisoning someone else by having chains of expectations and neediness on them. Freedom comes for both people then….because I do not need… and they do not have the energy of being needed placed upon them.

I have this new awareness which now will flow into all parts of my life… with my family, friends, colleagues … everyone I interact with.

I have a wonderful sense of freedom connecting with this realisation and knowing. It is actually quite liberating… to know that true love and fulfillment can flourish from not needing of, nor being needed by another. 🙂

Click on the image a couple of times to see the full screen of it and see if you can spot the strangler fig.