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Dec 15
in Uncategorized

2015… Loss and Grief… and honesty…

Not many days left in 2015 …. what a year it has been!

I have not only experienced many joys but also incredible deep grief and loss this year. After returning from an extended period travelling overseas, it is time for me to re-group, re-ground and distill what is important for me in my life… and see how my life will unfold from here.

 

I started the year with passion and commitment and dedication to a project that sadly didn’t eventuate. I had the best birthday ever!!! and turning 53 in 2015 with all the ‘8’s I thought was going to be the beginning of a truly remarkable year where I could flourish and do something I am gifted in and that I love. I was mistaken.

 

Making a decision to let that go has been the most easy decision I have ever had to make; because it was made with Love and honouring…. yet one which has brought with it more grief than I have ever experienced… nor could have imagined… and with that decision the loss of my best friend and Soulmate.

 

For those who have been part of my Blog readership over the years, you are accustomed to my open honesty, and rather than portraying a ‘happy, happy’ summary of who I am and my year, I prefer to just share myself in authenticity.

 

Many times throughout the year I have often found it difficult to get up in the mornings and complete anything for the day…and wondered when my tears would ever stop. I was harsh on myself and did not allow myself to grieve for the losses I experienced and it was only when I was gentle with myself and acknowledged my grief that I began to be able to function again; and although the grief has not diminished and I can still feel it in my chest, I am able to co-exist with it and become functioning and productive.

 

In September I forced myself to pack my bags to travel to Greenland and I opened myself to listening to the healing voice of the landscape. I know I have connected with incredibly powerful images from my experience in Greenland and am now working toward an installation exhibition in New York.

 

I felt like I didn’t have enough time home before our planned travels to Bhutan and India and although absolutely wonderful; we cut our journey short so we could both return home and re-group.

 

I have lost a lot of weight and muscle condition on our travels through Asia, so I needed to return to recommence my training to climb the Orsono volcano for my birthday next year in February.

 

​I will also be travelling to Antarctica again with a girlfriend and my photography group with John Paul Caponigro; and then in the middle of the year driving Penny from Peking to Paris with Max… then returning to Bhutan and walking with my girlfriend through Bhutan for 3 weeks in November.

 

2015 has been the most challenging and honestly horrible year of my life… speckled with wonderful joys though… and incredible experiences. This IS life. Not always peachy…but it is real…the reality of MY life… and through my Blog and journal my endeavour is to reveal just some of the ‘real’ of my life.

 

Many of you are inspired by my incredibly privileged life, which it is; and I wanted to share with you that I like yourself and everyone else on the planet – have some shadows in my experience which I have to face and learn to deal with. I am sharing with you now how difficult my life has been this year – not for pity; because it is a consequence of the accumulation of my own choices…… but rather I am sharing so that for those who also have tears every night before you go to sleep… that with courage it is also possible to continue and find things to flourish with and feel a sense of fulfillment with…as I am endeavouring to do. 

 

I have made a commitment to myself to honour myself through my nutrition and health; my daily practices of meditation and prayer; my continued honouring of my gifts and connection with the Divine; and my openhearted lovingness for not only others, but myself as well.

 

I have received and been quite overwhelmed and humbled by so many emails over the past months on how my experience and meeting with others has enriched their lives…and what they have seen in me, when I have not seen that even within myself. For those who have written and shared that with me, I want to thank you again; thank you, thank you…. for your own open-heartedness has supported and encouraged me in ways more than you will ever imagine. 

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About the Author: Julie
I am a Journeywoman. I live my life as an explorer. An adventurer. An Observer. An Artist. There is no differentiation between how I live my life and the art that is an expression of it. It is through my experience adventuring the unknown, that I learn more about myself. My aim through this connection is to live where my expression is fully in alignment with the essence of who I am. “In the field of Fine-Art Photography, Julie stands apart from others with the way she sees the world and expresses her connection within it. Julie Stephenson’s photographs are sublime. Her work is an expression of her deep connection; and a gift to the world.”

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skeinydipping

I looked down and saw my hands. Hands which have t I looked down and saw my hands. Hands which have touched; have loved; have created; have worked; have nurtured. My hands.   

I looked down and saw on my wrist and fingers items from around the world which have so many stories; items which have all been created from the heart and made by the hands of others. 

I looked down and saw beautiful yarn. Yarn which has been handled carefully through shearing, dyeing, skeining, balling; and now being knit in my beautiful hands. 

My hands are one of my gifts. This year I’ve really missed the touch of another with my hands, to feel the heart of another through my fingertips; but so grateful and love my hands which touch and feel; work and play!

What do you see when you look at your hands?

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Knitting a fabulous  #slipstravaganzamkal by @westknits .
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#gratitudeattitude #westknitsarethebestknits #westknitsmkal2020 #knittersofinstagram #knittersoftheworld #knittersofaustralia #indiedyedyarn #handmadewithlove #handmade #handmadejewellery #fromtheheart #createeveryday #livetotravel #healing #healinghands #creativehands
My life is wonderful… and I have so many stories My life is wonderful… and I have so many stories. I’ve had adventures on all continents. Slept being rocked by the sea; felt the ice on my skin in both polar regions, and felt the silence of the deserts. I’ve walked stone steps in monasteries at altitudes where each step I’ve taken consciously and mindfully; focussing on treasuring every molecule of oxygen in the rarefied atmosphere. 

COVID has paused those adventures, but I draw upon my experiences as I navigate adventuring my days in a different way, on our ‘home range’. 

I recall my steps in Tibet as I walk through our bushland. I am mindful and conscious of my surroundings. I listen. I feel. I feel happy here. I am content.

My new stories may not hold the same experiences of connection with others; and may not be of extreme challenges or crazy things  (which I am rather prone to doing! 🙂 ) but they are not less wondrous… as I smell the warm eucalyptus waft from under my feet. 

I weave my stories, and this story is of my personal journey on my daily walk through our bushland. 
You can see some of my other woven stories on my website - link in profile. 

How do you express your life’s stories?
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#weaversofinstagram #indiedyedyarn #indiedyed #rigidheddleloomweaving #ashford #inspiredbynature #contentcreator #emotionalbalance #homedeco #handcrafted #makersmovement #creativelifehappylife #wellbeing #travellerlife #journeywoman #weavingaustralia
“....The Assookinakii cowl was created for those “....The Assookinakii cowl was created for those times in your life when you need a meditative and healing knit. Assookinakii (ass-s-oo-kin-uh-k-EE) means ‘healer’ in the Blackfeet language, thank you to Cut Woods School in Browning, MT for the tradish language support”. –  Candice from @thefarmersdaughterfibers 

Knitting this beautiful cowl by Candice from @thefarmersdaughterfibers for @sistersunitedmt ; WAS healing. 

As my hands gently formed the repetitive stitches I reflected on the word ‘Assookinakii ‘ - healer. I am a healer. I don’t understand it. It’s something unseen. Something within me which has been recognised by Ngangkari and ‘clever men’ here in Australia; and shaman and healers around the world as we travel. This recognition always has caught me by surprise; as I seem to walk a line between two worlds. 

As the stitches slipped from one needle to another and the beautiful colours of @spincycle_yarns revealed themselves; in the pauses between the stitches I heard a voice whispering to continue to seek connection with the natural world and listen deeply. 

What has been healing for you this year?
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#healingjourney #meditationpractice #dyedinthewool #assookinakii_cowl #knittersofinstagram #knittingaddict #livinglifetothefullest #happydays #shaman #healer #healersofinstagram #listentoyourheart #indiedyedyarn #handmadewithlove #knittersgonnaknit #knittersoftheworld
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2017 All photographs created by and property of Julie Stephenson.