Have you ever woken up and FELT different than the day before? A REAL DIFFERENT… where the world seemed brighter and that something had changed for the good.. like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders? I Did.
Monday morning. I woke up with this feeling that I had recognised that I won’t repeat the same mistakes as I have done before.. and that I will not cause myself harm by disrespect or dishonouring – from myself or others. I woke up with this tangible FEELING that I needed to live my life with far more honesty and authenticity… and yes – I know this is a current buzzword… but I mean it in a sense simply where I need to live being true to myself and anything less than that is just an absolute waste of living.
I went for a swim on Monday morning and at the local pool; a man came over to me whilst I was swimming, and said to me that he wanted to see who the ‘teenager’ was who waved to him. hahahah I’m starting to feel alive again.
I’ve done the work over the past year… as I shared in my post on loss and grief here …. Dug deep. Last year all around I gave absolutely everything I had – and more. I kept loving; but in the process I now realize what a grave disservice I did to myself because I allowed ME to not matter; and allowed my honesty and authenticity to be hidden and suppressed; for years; as a consequence of other’s wishes.. and I was compliant and complicit in that. Now with some Universal assistance I’m in a place where I’m ready to truly honour who I am and LIVE in honouring of who I am…in EVERY aspect of my life. No more hiding… personally.. professionally.
So how does this relate to my Blog.. and my photography, travels, healing work…and my sharing to you?
Well… so many of my readers have written sharing that they value the honesty of my words; my vulnerability; my insights; my wisdom; my photography and how I ‘SEE’ things more deeply than they can;…. and just the opportunity to read about how another person navigates and creates an amazing life… and so often I have discussions with my colleagues who are internationally renowned artists and photographers who express to me their frustration and unhappiness about not being able to really create the work they want to do…and what they see they have produced isn’t a true representation of who they are.
Photography is just an extension of living. If you can’t create the work you want to create because of fear of anything; opinion; failure; ridicule; judgment; rejection; how is that any different from not living the way you want to express yourself in the world in every aspect of your life?
Ask yourself how many times even in the past week have you dishonoured yourself by not speaking truthfully; not acting in alignment with who you are; by doing things that you know aren’t in alignment with how you need to be living to have a fulfilling existence… and keep doing those things year after year?
Ask yourself how many times you have not made a choice to do something because of your ‘perception’ about the outcome?? and compromised being true to yourself – because of ‘fear’ of something which you imagined in your mind… rather than actually trusting in the process of seeing how things evolve??
I asked myself these questions. My answers were quite sobering.
Three local women I have known between 45 and 60 years old have died in the past 3 months. Life can be tenuous. Many of you know I held James on the road six years ago and thoughts flashed through my mind that he would not survive. Life is unpredictable; seems like it is is not finite… and yet can be so easily wasted. I’m not going to waste my precious life any more.
I have incredible psychic and shamanic gifts…. ones which even I don’t understand; but are very real and continually surprise my family. The more I travel the more I recognise that what I feel and experience in relation to my gifts is an accepted part of many traditional cultures. Although I don’t understand them fully, I’m not hiding them any more. Those gifts are a part of who I am. I have the ability to see the ‘unseen’. I also have a I have an innocent, pure and incredible ability to know how to Love. I’m not suppressing that any more. It is what it is.
I’m not going to waste what I have left of my life. I’m going to shout out to the world who I am; even if it rocks the boat; even if people don’t approve; don’t like it; don’t understand; don’t ‘get’ it; are upset by how I feel; upset by what i have done or didn’t do…. As long as I am loving and coming from my true loving nature, the expression of who I am can ONLY then be for the Highest Good…because I am being true to myself.
Yes… there is the reality of surviving economically; and then there is the reality of honouring one’s life; and surely there must be a developing level of consciousness where we all must recognise that we need to live in honesty with alignment in who we are regardless of our endeavours both personally and professionally… and that honesty will be enough to allay one’s fears.
What I have also learned is that there is a difference between living a certain way because of ignorance; and not living in alignment due to lack of courage. With awareness comes an opportunity to really honour one’s life and the Divine nature of existence… and it is my time now to embrace honouring myself by not accepting things are ok – if actually they aren’t; and time for me to shout out to the world who I am without suppression and hiding; and instead express my life with a new level of honesty and authenticity which now I am not ignorant of and truly have a responsibility for.
So… from here – more expression from me when things aren’t ok. More self-awareness so that my light doesn’t fill another’s shadow. More expression of my artwork without any reservation from fear. More acceptance and honouring of my gifts and the innate nature of who I am. More making choices and decisions without the perception of the outcome – but rather making choices because they are in alignment with my ‘gut’ feeling and who I am…and trusting in the processes of life and living rather than controlling how things ‘might’ evolve because of my limited perception. That’s a start 🙂
… And for yourself… perhaps some of what I have shared will be another impetus for you to create a life and the expression through your photographs and artwork which is more in alignment with who you are so that your endeavour in doing that is also fearless and true to yourself.
If there is ANYTHING here that you feel is worthwhile for your friends or others… there are various social media icons below where you can click and share.